Been there, several times. It’s probably one reason I haven’t run a race in the last 4 years, though I still run with the same devotion and intensity. The aging process was hiding round a corner just after I turned 50, jumped me and left me pretty beaten up. It’s hard to go into the same competitive space I was in when in my teens, twenties, thirties and forties with the same head but a different body. I’m getting used to the slower mins per mile in daily running, the racing arena will take a bit more work.
This is all so true and I'm going to need to read it a few times to let it get into my thick skull. I just went through these feelings with my first marathon a few weeks ago. I had high hopes and fell significantly short of my goals. I was feeling everything at once and I'm still sorting some of it out. Thank you for this!
It can be overwhelming. We build toward this “one thing” for weeks or months, all the while trying to convince ourselves it’s no big deal, we’re in it for the experience, and results don’t matter. Big buildup, sprinkle on some self-deception, and bingo… disappointment. As with all things, the path through begins with noticing how we think and act.
Great insight Mike. What a great honest piece of writing. I hope you get better each day.
I know KNOW know KNOW this feeling, oh so well. Late last year, fit as I ever was, my hamstring went south, literally the day before we were supposed to leave for a race.. Not only didn't reach my race goal, I DNF'd the race. It was heartbreaking. I gave myself permission to just feel bad about it, cry about, play the what if and what did I do wrong about it. Then I moved on.
Thank you for the kind words. I have had a couple DNFs, and that’s a special kind of letdown. Once, I simply let the “it would be easier to quit” voices win, and boy-oh-boy does that come with psychic consequences.
I do believe I can bounce back from last weekend, but also understand there will come a day when my best performances really are behind. Still trying to make peace with that.
Been there, several times. It’s probably one reason I haven’t run a race in the last 4 years, though I still run with the same devotion and intensity. The aging process was hiding round a corner just after I turned 50, jumped me and left me pretty beaten up. It’s hard to go into the same competitive space I was in when in my teens, twenties, thirties and forties with the same head but a different body. I’m getting used to the slower mins per mile in daily running, the racing arena will take a bit more work.
This is all so true and I'm going to need to read it a few times to let it get into my thick skull. I just went through these feelings with my first marathon a few weeks ago. I had high hopes and fell significantly short of my goals. I was feeling everything at once and I'm still sorting some of it out. Thank you for this!
It can be overwhelming. We build toward this “one thing” for weeks or months, all the while trying to convince ourselves it’s no big deal, we’re in it for the experience, and results don’t matter. Big buildup, sprinkle on some self-deception, and bingo… disappointment. As with all things, the path through begins with noticing how we think and act.
What a beautiful, vulnerable read.
Thank you for sharing, my love. ❤️
Thank you for holding me so sweetly. And for always ringing the cowbell at the finish (even when I’m in a daze and don’t see you). Yeehaw! 🤠
Great insight Mike. What a great honest piece of writing. I hope you get better each day.
I know KNOW know KNOW this feeling, oh so well. Late last year, fit as I ever was, my hamstring went south, literally the day before we were supposed to leave for a race.. Not only didn't reach my race goal, I DNF'd the race. It was heartbreaking. I gave myself permission to just feel bad about it, cry about, play the what if and what did I do wrong about it. Then I moved on.
I resolved to come back even stronger.
I know you will too.
Thank you for the kind words. I have had a couple DNFs, and that’s a special kind of letdown. Once, I simply let the “it would be easier to quit” voices win, and boy-oh-boy does that come with psychic consequences.
I do believe I can bounce back from last weekend, but also understand there will come a day when my best performances really are behind. Still trying to make peace with that.
Thanks again for reading!